Happy Mother’s Day

Every time this day comes back from its circle around the sun the memories of you flood into my mind like a raging sea. I always wonder how you are doing, are you happy? Do you miss me? I wish so desperately that I could have one last talk with you, to hear your laugh and for us to blare Michael Bublé just one more time. I want you to know that I’m doing well. I pray that you’re looking down on me and are proud of the woman I’ve become because it was so hard to do it without you. I wish you were here to tell me what your life was like at my age. Did you sometimes feel lost? Tell me about your craziest night out with your friends. Who was your celebrity crush at my age? Random thoughts I wish we could talk about while baking our favorite banana bread recipe and have Golden Girls playing in the background. I really wish we could’ve finished our cookbook and opened our bakery like we always talked about I think it would’ve been really successful because you were always the best cook. Maybe one day down the road I’ll open it for us. I wish you could’ve been there for all of my big milestones, my graduation, my first apartment, meeting my adorable little puppy. You would’ve really loved him and you would’ve loved decorating my apartment even more. I guess all I am really trying to say is that I wish you were here, I wish so desperately much that you were still here to be with me. I miss you every single day Mom, and I love you so terribly much.

 

-S. Annette

Raised by a Single Father

I’m a very rare breed; I was a girl that was raised by a single father. Most stories you hear of single parents it‘s not the Dad who is the one doing the work of two. Throughout every school play, tea party, sleepover and field day it wasn’t my mom standing on the sidelines cheering me on, it was my incredible father. He was always the only man among all the moms taking pictures, bringing in snacks and helping me pick out the perfect prom dress. I experienced things most girls don’t, My dad raised me himself, which I’m sure to most males raising a daughter alone might be the scariest experience of their lives. However, he did the most incredible job, that I never once felt I was missing a part of my life. I never cared that it was my dad cooking me breakfast and giving me boy advice, instead of my mom. Being raised by a single dad taught me a lot of different lessons that I don’t think many women get to go through so I wanted to share my experience.

 

My Value

He taught me that my value didn’t come from my looks but from my heart and my mind. I always remember from a young age, and especially as I got older, that he would tell me to never rely on my looks to get me anywhere. My looks would eventually fade but my heart and my values never would. My dad taught me that to get where I wanted to go, I needed to put in my blood, sweat, and tears to get to it. He taught me that anyone who only valued my outer shell over who I was as a person wasn’t someone I needed in my life.

 

Independent

He made me fiercely independent. To anyone who reads this and knows my dad, he is the most independent person I have ever met in my life and I believe you all would agree. He raised me to be able to walk alone in this world without fear. That I could be happy and live the life I wanted even if it meant there wasn’t someone by my side cheering me on. That I could change my own oil, travel the world by myself and pave my own way in this life. I don’t have a fear of being alone because he taught me how to take care of myself.

 

Fuck the Status Quo

My dad is a very progressive person. He taught me to fuck the status quo.  There was nothing in this world that I couldn’t do. If I wanted to play basketball instead of dance, then he would spend hours shooting hoops with me. When I wanted a fast muscle car when I turned 16 instead of a Punch Buggy, he searched the Internet and got me a car with a V8 engine. To him, there was nothing that my gender would stop me from being able to do. He pushed me to go against the traditional and be different.

 

Brave

He made me brave, so incredibly brave. I remember when I told him that I wanted to pursue writing. I was scared because what if I wasn’t good and I knew that he always wanted me to join the family business and I didn’t want to disappoint him. I specifically remember him looking at me and saying, “Where is all this fear coming from? This isn’t you. Who cares what I think is best I don’t know everything. If you have a passion you need to go after it, this is your life.” His words are what helped push me to pursue this most likely unstable career, and to not be afraid because even if I failed at least I went for it.

 

Love

One of the greatest things my dad taught me was how I deserved to be loved. To be with someone who cherishes my heart and respects me. I deserve someone who is trustworthy, dependable and unconditionally loves me. I have such high expectations when it comes to love because he set the bar so high, I’m not even sure if there is any man who can live up to the man that he is.

 

This doesn’t even grace the surface of all the lessons that my dad taught me, but it is just a look into the life of a girl that was raised by a single dad.

 

Dad, you are the most gracious, giving human being that I know. Your unwavering love and devotion have made me into the person I am today, and I am forever thankful that I have you by my side. I love you.

 

-S. Annette

Quotes to Inspire the Wild Woman in You

Something about this time of year, when the wind shifts from the cool crisp air to the warm wet breeze, and the sun lingers just a little bit longer in sky that awakens the wild spirit inside me. I feel I am not the only summer soul that feels most alive in the heat. So these are for you, the beautiful wild summer souls that dance barefoot in the burning sand and swim carelessly in the salty sea. For my girls who aren’t afraid to be completely yourself as wild and untamable as you may be. For my unchained sisters these are for you.

 

  1. “If chaos is a work of art, then my heart is a masterpiece.” –D. Antionette Foy

 

  1. “Don’t tell a girl with fire in her veins and hurricane bones what she should and shouldn’t do. In the blink of an eye, she will shatter that ridiculous cage you attempt to build around her beautiful bohemian spirit” –Melody Lee

 

  1. “She was a wild child; always stealing the stars and getting drunk on the souls of earthbound misfits.” –H. Lynn

 

  1. “Some day I am more wolf than women and I am still learning how to stop apologizing for my wild.” –Nikita Gill

 

  1. “I was make to be wild, wicked and free, to carve out my own crazy destiny, to find a place in this world where I can be the most authentic version of me.” – Christy Ann Martine

 

  1. “You won’t forget a women like her, easily anyway. Once you cross paths with magic it’s hard to see life the same.” –Nikki Rowe

 

  1. “Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night; that is how galaxies are made.” –Tyler Kent White

 

  1. “Live the full life of the mind, exhilarated by new ideas, intoxicated by the romance of the unusual.” –Ernest Hemingway

 

  1. “You were wild once, don’t let them tame you.” –Isadora Duncan

 

  1. “She dances to the songs in her head, speaks with the rhythm of her heart, and loves from the depths of her soul.” –Dean Jackson

 

-S. Annette

Stop Chasing

Why do we always crave the love that’s not given? What is it about the distant lover that makes our minds spiral into obsession just to hear them say we are worthy? It’s the cruel words from an absent parent that make their strongest mark on our self-worth. Why is the approval of a stranger so much sweeter than the kindness of a friend? I’ve heard stories of it being chemical. That deep within our DNA is the cell that commands us to chase the unworthy. But why would our creators doom us to such a terrible fate? What would happen to us if we stopped chasing the ones who don’t value us, the ones that never truly saw us, the ones that used us for their own selfish purpose? What if we chased the ones who unconditionally adore us, the ones who build us up not tear us down, the ones who inspire us to dream bigger. Just imagine how powerful we could be.

 

-S. Annette

Author of My Worth

With each passing day, we woke up with our backs further apart, with our emotions hundreds of miles away from each other. With each sunrise, I told myself it was only a phase and that this distance would fade away. But it didn’t, it only grew, grew so large that I could no longer see the shore and the loneliness of what we were sunk in. You took my love for granted. You pushed aside my endless sacrifice and your actions slowly erased my faith in myself. Was I unworthy? Was I too damaged to ever be loved? You stamped those thoughts in my head with each time you pulled your hand away, each time I kissed you and you turned your cheek. But on this day I said enough. You are not the author of my worth. You do not get to write another line in my story because the pen is mine. The lines you so carelessly scripted will forever stain me, but your handwriting will never be seen again. So with this, I say the end, not to my story but to the chapter you wrote.

 

-S. Annette

Why I Write

 

To me, writing isn’t a want. It’s a need, as much as lungs begging for oxygen maybe even more. This need, she demands me to share my racing thoughts, to express my pain, to voice my joy. I can never quench her need, she comes back time and time again forcing my hand to pick up the pen and tell my story. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without her. What if she was passive and her love affair with the pen didn’t burn with passion? I wonder what would it be like to sleep through the night without her pleading to share just one more story. When I ponder of life without her, she wrangles my heart and reminds me, “we are one.” One and the same her and I, this need is I and her love affair with the pen is mine. Together we will always be, a flaming desire to tell my thoughts and share my voice.

 

-S. Annette

Admit It Girl

I like to think I understand the male species fairly well. Raised by a single father and surrounded by my brother and his squad of 10+ best friends at all times growing up, I have learned some of the inside secrets that the male brain operates with. I’m here to give you some hard truth on if that guy you’ve been tindering (or bumbling, sexting, insta-messaging etc.) is really into you or not.

 

  1. You know the old saying from Ted Mosby’s mom “Nothing good happens after 2 am.” Well, no text from a guy after 12 am means he wants to have a deep emotional conversation and get to know you for you. Sorry girl, all he wants is for his bed to be a little less lonely for the night.

 

  1. To piggyback off the previous one if you do happen to go over there and have a wonderful night of “conversation” and he then, in an all too sweet way, asks you if he can call you an Uber, or if you’re at your place and he dips out? Let me tell you, you just got royally douched.

 

  1. Guys don’t think in the spider web process that us girls do. If that dude is really into you, he will make sure you know. He will text you, he will call, he will ask you on a date, plain and simple. If he isn’t doing that then its time for you to put on some red lipstick, go out to the bar and find yourself a new man.

 

  1. If he says any of the following cringe-worthy statements; “Not ready for a relationship” “Not looking for anything serious” “Don’t want you to fall in love with me” run like the fucking hills because he’s not trying to be cute and act like he’s an emotionally scarred sheep you’re there to fix. It means he really REALLY isn’t looking for a relationship, and nothing you do will change it.

 

  1. No eye contact, or touching. When a guy is into you he will stare you down and he will take any opportunity to make physical contact. If there is enough space between you two for an elephant to fit and he keeps making googly eyes at the bartender, then he is really not interested.

 

  1. GHOSTING. Ah, the classic dilemma that is sweeping our generation. Girl, if you hooked up and that boy never ever responds to anything you send him then please delete his number (no don’t block it because your drunk self can very well undo that) delete it and move on. No his phone didn’t fall into a toilet and break. He just doesn’t care.

 

  1. Haven’t you been graced with meeting any of his friends? This one here is a sneaky but huge red flag on if he’s into you or not. If he’s not dying to show you off to all of his friends then he is using you. No guy wants to keep a girl he’s obsessed with a secret, he’ll want to show you off like a pony.

 

  1. On the contrary, if he never wants to spend time alone with you and only agrees to hang out with you in a group setting, then he isn’t interested. There needs to be a happy medium of alone time and group time. If he leans way to far to either side then something is up.

 

  1. Emotionally distant and doesn’t listen to you. Do you ever find yourself repeating the same information to your guy that you’ve told him over and over? When your crush is really into you he will listen and remember your hilarious story about how your BFF told off an old lady on Valentine’s Day. If he doesn’t that means he’s is not investing in you and doesn’t see you in his long-term plans.

 

  1. Constantly talking about other girls. Do you notice that he is always talking about that bitch Carly that he works with, and always saying that she did the funniest thing ever today? Well if he feels he can talk about pretty much every other girl in the world to you then he probably isn’t interested in you. If he was all eyes on you he would be telling YOU how funny you are, not how funny Carly is.

 

Well ladies, please keep your heads held high and if a guy is doing any of these things to you then please take the L and let him go. Don’t go trying to change him, or convince him that you’re worth it because a real guy won’t need to be convinced of how great you are, he will know it. I’m sure I will have a follow-up article with many more ways to tell if he’s digging you or not, so keep your eyes open for it.

 

P.S. I would like to dedicate this article to my best friends and contributing authors whose sacrifices in the dating world made this article possible.

-S. Annette