Every time this day comes back from its circle around the sun the memories of you flood into my mind like a raging sea. I always wonder how you are doing, are you happy? Do you miss me? I wish so desperately that I could have one last talk with you, to hear your laugh and for us to blare Michael Bublé just one more time. I want you to know that I’m doing well. I pray that you’re looking down on me and are proud of the woman I’ve become because it was so hard to do it without you. I wish you were here to tell me what your life was like at my age. Did you sometimes feel lost? Tell me about your craziest night out with your friends. Who was your celebrity crush at my age? Random thoughts I wish we could talk about while baking our favorite banana bread recipe and have Golden Girls playing in the background. I really wish we could’ve finished our cookbook and opened our bakery like we always talked about I think it would’ve been really successful because you were always the best cook. Maybe one day down the road I’ll open it for us. I wish you could’ve been there for all of my big milestones, my graduation, my first apartment, meeting my adorable little puppy. You would’ve really loved him and you would’ve loved decorating my apartment even more. I guess all I am really trying to say is that I wish you were here, I wish so desperately much that you were still here to be with me. I miss you every single day Mom, and I love you so terribly much.
I like to think I understand the male species fairly well. Raised by a single father and surrounded by my brother and his squad of 10+ best friends at all times growing up, I have learned some of the inside secrets that the male brain operates with. I’m here to give you some hard truth on if that guy you’ve been tindering (or bumbling, sexting, insta-messaging etc.) is really into you or not.
- You know the old saying from Ted Mosby’s mom “Nothing good happens after 2 am.” Well, no text from a guy after 12 am means he wants to have a deep emotional conversation and get to know you for you. Sorry girl, all he wants is for his bed to be a little less lonely for the night.
- To piggyback off the previous one if you do happen to go over there and have a wonderful night of “conversation” and he then, in an all too sweet way, asks you if he can call you an Uber, or if you’re at your place and he dips out? Let me tell you, you just got royally douched.
- Guys don’t think in the spider web process that us girls do. If that dude is really into you, he will make sure you know. He will text you, he will call, he will ask you on a date, plain and simple. If he isn’t doing that then its time for you to put on some red lipstick, go out to the bar and find yourself a new man.
- If he says any of the following cringe-worthy statements; “Not ready for a relationship” “Not looking for anything serious” “Don’t want you to fall in love with me” run like the fucking hills because he’s not trying to be cute and act like he’s an emotionally scarred sheep you’re there to fix. It means he really REALLY isn’t looking for a relationship, and nothing you do will change it.
- No eye contact, or touching. When a guy is into you he will stare you down and he will take any opportunity to make physical contact. If there is enough space between you two for an elephant to fit and he keeps making googly eyes at the bartender, then he is really not interested.
- GHOSTING. Ah, the classic dilemma that is sweeping our generation. Girl, if you hooked up and that boy never ever responds to anything you send him then please delete his number (no don’t block it because your drunk self can very well undo that) delete it and move on. No his phone didn’t fall into a toilet and break. He just doesn’t care.
- Haven’t you been graced with meeting any of his friends? This one here is a sneaky but huge red flag on if he’s into you or not. If he’s not dying to show you off to all of his friends then he is using you. No guy wants to keep a girl he’s obsessed with a secret, he’ll want to show you off like a pony.
- On the contrary, if he never wants to spend time alone with you and only agrees to hang out with you in a group setting, then he isn’t interested. There needs to be a happy medium of alone time and group time. If he leans way to far to either side then something is up.
- Emotionally distant and doesn’t listen to you. Do you ever find yourself repeating the same information to your guy that you’ve told him over and over? When your crush is really into you he will listen and remember your hilarious story about how your BFF told off an old lady on Valentine’s Day. If he doesn’t that means he’s is not investing in you and doesn’t see you in his long-term plans.
- Constantly talking about other girls. Do you notice that he is always talking about that bitch Carly that he works with, and always saying that she did the funniest thing ever today? Well if he feels he can talk about pretty much every other girl in the world to you then he probably isn’t interested in you. If he was all eyes on you he would be telling YOU how funny you are, not how funny Carly is.
Well ladies, please keep your heads held high and if a guy is doing any of these things to you then please take the L and let him go. Don’t go trying to change him, or convince him that you’re worth it because a real guy won’t need to be convinced of how great you are, he will know it. I’m sure I will have a follow-up article with many more ways to tell if he’s digging you or not, so keep your eyes open for it.
P.S. I would like to dedicate this article to my best friends and contributing authors whose sacrifices in the dating world made this article possible.